Monday, October 31, 2011

Scary Movie 3

Released Year: 2003
Directed by David Zucker

Casted by:
Anna Faris as Cindy Campbell
Simon Rex as George Logan
Charlie Sheen as Tom Logan
Leslie Nielsen as President Baxter Harris
Queen Latifah as Aunt Shaneequa/The Oracle
Pamela Anderson as Becca Kotler
Jenny McCarthy as Katie Embry
Denise Richards as Annie Logan
Regina Hall as Brenda Meeks
The film's plot is introduced by two girls, Katie and Becca, meeting a gruesome supernatural demise seven days after having watched a cursed videotape. In a farm outside Washington D.C., widowed farmer and former reverend Tom Logan and his clumsy and easily discouraged brother George discover a crop circle in their fields. The "circle" actually composes a sign shaped like an arrow pointing at the Logan house which reads in English: "ATTACK HERE".

Since the events of the previous film, the gang have all gone their separate ways. In Washington, Cindy Campbell, now an anchorwoman, reveals the crop circle occurrence on the news, and afterwards has an argument with her boss, who only wants stories featuring sex, violence and the weather. She then goes to pick up her paranormally endowed nephew Cody from school, where her best friend and former classmate Brenda Meeks now works as a teacher, no longer dating Ray Wilkins. George Logan arrives to pick up his niece, Sue, Tom's daughter, who is in the same class. George and Cindy take an instant liking to each other, and he invites Cindy and Brenda to a rap-battle with his rapper friends Mahalik and CJ.

Later that evening, George proves actually quite successful, but due to some unintentional racist blunders, he gets thrown out. Following the battle, Brenda asks Cindy to keep her company, since she has watched the cursed videotape herself. After playing several pranks on Cindy, she goes to watch television, and is killed by the undead girl, Tabitha, who emerges from her television set. During Brenda's wake, George and Mahalik, due to a misunderstanding, wreak havoc on Brenda's corpse in an attempt to bring her back to life. Cindy decides to watch the tape for herself and also receives the fateful message. She calls George, CJ and Mahalik for help. CJ comments that his Aunt Shaneequa, might be able to help Cindy. Aunt Shaneequa, who turns out to be The Oracle, and her husband Orpheus agree to watch a segment of the tape. Shaneequa discovers the hidden image of a lighthouse, which she claims Cindy must find to solve the mystery. But when Cindy returns home, she finds to her horror that Cody has watched the tape, condemning him to certain death.

Back at work, Cindy browses through various pictures of lighthouses, before finding the one depicted on the tape. Desperate to save Cody's life, Cindy tries to warn the population by feeding typing a message into the station anchor's teleprompter, but only part of her message gets through before her boss and a janitor interrupt her. Among those who take her message seriously are the Logans, who have an encounter with an alien disguised as Michael Jackson, and President Baxter Harris, who personally visits the farm to investigate the crop circles. With no further resources, Cindy ventures to the lighthouse, where she encounters The Architect. The loquacious (and lecherous) old man explains the story behind the killer tape. Tabitha was his evil adopted daughter, whom his wife drowned in the family farm's well, but not before she imprinted her evil upon the tape. Unfortunately, he mistook the evil tape for a copy of Pootie Tang and returned it to Blockbuster instead, unleashing the curse upon the world.

Upon returning home, Cindy discovers that her station has been broadcasting the same tape for hours, dooming many people to death, and in addition, there have been various sightings of aliens descending upon Earth. Worse, Cody has gone missing. Cindy manages to track him back to the Logan farm, where he has taken refuge with George. Tom orders everybody into the basement for safety, as he, George and Mahalik go outside to fight off the extraterrestrials. The aliens arrive, but reveal that they are in fact friendly (despite their unusual customs), and have come to Earth to stop Tabitha, since they accidentally watched the tape on a broadcast they had intercepted, thinking it was Pootie Tang.

In the basement, Cindy realizes that a scene from the tape matches the farm's cellar, and underneath the floor she uncovers the well where Tabitha was drowned. Suddenly, Tabitha appears behind her. A short fight ensues, during which Tabitha takes Cody hostage. Cindy and George appeal to her, offering her a place in their family. Tabitha refuses and prepares to attack again, but is accidentally knocked back into the well by President Baxter. The aliens leave in peace, and Cindy and George get married. Leaving for their honeymoon, they realize they forget to take Cody with them, and the boy gets knocked over by a car while chasing them down the road.
L² Scored: 7/10

L² Comment:
I actually not very fancy on this 3rd movie~ though Anna Faris still the lead of this film, but my fav Regina Halls just a special appearance in this movie. :(

But they add on a lot of cool celebrities such as Simon Rex (i love his porn :P), Pamela Anderson, Queen Latifah & Denise Richards :)

Friday, October 28, 2011

Scary Movie 2

Released Year: 2001
Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans

Casted by:
Anna Faris as Cindy Campbell
Regina Hall as Brenda Meeks
Chris Masterson as Buddy
Shawn Wayans as Ray Wilkins
David Cross as Dwight Hartman
Marlon Wayans as Shorty Meeks
Kathleen Robertson as Theo
Tim Curry as Professor Oldman
Tori Spelling as Alex Monday
The film opens with a parody of The Exorcist, during which teenager Megan Voorhees becomes possessed by the spirit of Hugh Kane, the previous owner of the House. Two priests, Father McFeely and Father Harris attempt to drive Hugh's ghost out, but the exorcism does not go as planned, resulting in a chain of vomiting and various instances of near-pedophilia. Finally, McFeely responds to an insult towards his mother by shooting Megan.

One year later, Cindy Campbell, Brenda Meeks, Ray Wilkins, and Shorty Meeks are at college, trying to live new lives following the events of the previous film (although most of them actually died in Scary Movie, Brenda claims in a deleted scene that her death was a near-death experience). Cindy and Brenda get tagged by a socially maladjusted girl, Alex. Ray, still confused about his sexuality, has two new male friends, Tommy and Buddy. Shorty is still the same stoner he was before.

A local teacher, Professor Oldman and his paraplegic assistant, Dwight Hartman, plan to study the paranormal activity at a local haunted mansion called Hell House using the clueless teens. Meanwhile, Buddy's advances are spurned by Cindy, who is recovering from her previous relationship. Leading to a scene in which Buddy gives Cindy a wedgie. When Cindy is the first to arrive at Hell House, she encounters a vulgar parrot, and the caretaker, Hanson, who has a malformed hand. Later that evening, the group, including newcomer Theo, sit down for dinner. Unfortunately, everybody loses their appetite due to Hanson's repulsive antics.

In the night, Cindy hears voices directing her to a secret room, where she and Buddy discover a treasure chest containing the diary of the wife of the house's dead owner, Hugh Kane. They also find an old portrait of the wife and note Cindy's resemblance to her—Buddy also points out several flaws in Cindy's appearance. Meanwhile, many of the teens fall victim to violent attacks. Cindy gets involved in a fist fight with the house cat, Mr. Kittles. A toy clown attempts to kill Ray — but Ray turns the tables and ends up raping the clown. A weed-monster turns Shorty into a joint and tries to smoke him - fortunately, the plant gets distracted by munchies and lets him escape. The ghost of Hugh Kane has sex with Alex in her bedroom — yet departs in the morning when Alex expresses her interest in becoming the new Mrs. Kane.

Oldman is seduced and killed by a disfigured female ghost. Shorty later encounters the same ghost, yet he seduces her instead. After Dwight equips the teens with weapons that can injure their spectral enemy, they are pursued throughout the mansion. Buddy and Cindy get locked in the refrigerator. Thinking that Buddy is dying from an encounter with the ghost, Cindy gives him a "handjob". The couple then escape the room following a convoluted deus ex machina, in which Cindy uses a collection of random objects in the room to somehow produce a Caterpillar tractor, which she drives through the wall.

Hanson himself gets possessed by Kane. Cindy, Brenda, and Theo team up to fight him in a parody of Charlie's Angels, but wind up defeated. Eventually, Dwight and the teens regroup, and agree to use Cindy as bait to lure Kane into a device that will destroy him. The plan succeeds, freeing the group from the house's curse.

Two months later, Cindy and Buddy are in a relationship and go out for a walk. However, Buddy disappears without notice when Cindy discovers Hanson at the hot dog stand. As Cindy backs away in fear, Hanson pursues her — and gets struck by a car driven by Shorty, distracted by a blowjob from the female ghost.
L² Scored: 9/10

L² Comment:
The second movie is just as funny as the first one, though they change a few actors & actresses from the first film, but they remain my fav Regina Hall~ and she's of coz, as funny as usual. The best & funniest part will be the part when the freaky hand guy stuck his hand in all the food :P

Charlie Angels' part is also damn funny when they post in front of the fountain ~ haha. Surprise part is when i see Tim Curry involve in this comedy film :) a good try~

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Scary Movie 1

Released Year: 2000
Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans

Casted by:
Anna Faris as Cindy Campbell
Dave Sheridan as Doofy Gilmore / The Killer
Jon Abrahams as Bobby Prinze
Marlon Wayans as Shorty Meeks
Regina Hall as Brenda Meeks
Shawn Wayans as Ray Wilkins
Shannon Elizabeth as Buffy Gilmore
Lochlyn Munro as Greg Phillipe
Cheri Oteri as Gail Hailstorm
An 18-year-old girl named Drew Decker receives a threatening phone call while home alone one night. In an opening which closely mirrors Scream, Drew is chased outside by Ghostface, who then rips off her sweater and skirt, leaving her clothed in her white bra and thong. Drew runs through her garden sprinklers but she is then stabbed in the breast by Ghostface, removing one of her silicone breast implants, hit by a car driven by her father (who was getting oral sex by his wife so he didn't notice Drew), and then killed by Ghostface.

The next day, Cindy Campbell, meets up with her boyfriend Bobby Prinze and her friends, Brenda Meeks, Ray Wilkins, Greg Phillipe, and Buffy Gilmore. Various news teams - including hack reporter Gail Hailstorm - converge on the school in the wake of Drew's brutal death. Gail hooks up with Buffy's mentally disabled brother Doofy (Dave Sheridan), hoping to milk the facts out of him. One day, while Cindy is in class, someone mysteriously leaves a note saying I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST HALLOWEEN. Cindy then realizes that Drew's murder occurred exactly one year after she and her friends accidentally killed a man during a wild car ride (but the man is shown only to be unconscious and tries to tell them before being knocked out again). Unwilling to face incarceration, the next day A series of increasingly bizarre events take place. Various members of the group receive threatening notes from Ghostface and are rapidly dispatched, but most remain steadfastly oblivious to the rising body count. The killer then attacks Cindy in her house. She tries to call the police but the killer escapes. Bobby arrives at her house but Ghostface (before he left) drops the knife and gloves which leads Cindy to thinking that Bobby is the killer the police arrest him (though he is let out the next day). Greg is killed by Ghostface in plain view. Buffy tries to get help, but Buffy is at a beauty pageant but her talent was acting so they thought the cries were part of her act. Buffy, high on the success brought by the murder, becomes Ghostface's next victim. During the murder, Buffy thinks it's a game, so she does every cliche done by a white female in a horror film. Ghostface decapitates her (even though her head keeps talking afterwards). Later, Ghostface sticks his penis through Ray's head, seemingly killing him. Ghostface then attempts to dispose of Brenda during a showing of Shakespeare in Love, but the moviegoers, fed up with Brenda's ghetto antics during the movie, kill her before Ghostface can.

Cindy throws a house party, hoping for safety in numbers. During the party, Bobby and Cindy go up stairs and have sex, no longer making Cindy a virgin. Ghostface unexpectedly appears and stabs Bobby, before disappearing quickly. Cindy gets a gun from a drawer near the entrance, Bobby follows and she tends to his wounds. Shorty, Brenda's stoner brother, comes up from the basement and informs them that the killer has murdered everybody in the house. Bobby takes the gun and shoots Shorty, revealing that his wound was an elaborate ruse. Ray then arrives on the scene - whereupon Bobby reveals to Cindy that he is now a homosexual, and so is Ray, but Ray immediately denies it confirming that he is straight. They announce their plan to kill her father and frame her sister. Bobby says he did it because Cindy never had sex with him and Bobby gleefully points out that even though their plan lacks sense it doesn't matter, since horror movies are not noted for their logic, they also say that are just copying the killer and are not the actual killers ("We're copying a killer that already exists."). Ray and Bobby also came up with a plan to make themselves look like heroes by giving each other stab wounds to indicate they fought her. But, Ray stabs Bobby repeatedly and nearly kills him revealing his motive was because his favorite show The Wayans Bros. had been cancelled.

However, the real Ghostface abruptly turns up and stabs Ray, who collapses on top of Bobby in the Doggy style position. The killer then attacks Cindy, but she successfully subdues him by employing moves copied from The Matrix and kicks him through a window. Nonetheless, Ghostface vanishes before the police arrive.

At the police station, Cindy and the local sheriff realise that (through a montage similar to that of The Usual Suspects) Doofy - the only one who knew about the car accident - was actually faking his disability and is the true killer . Unfortunately, Doofy has already escaped with Gail Hailstorm. Upon finding his discarded disguise in the street, Cindy begins screaming "No" to the heavens - and gets run over by a car, presumably killing her (though she returns in the sequel alive and well).
L² Scored: 10/10

L² Comment:
Lol, what is the best to do in a one-day-holiday than having the "Scary Movie" marathon? My ever-favorite parody movie is the scary movie series :) Yea, who doesn't? My fav would be Regina Halls, the every loud black girl, i just can't stop laughing once she appear in any scene.

The Wayans brothers really make a good film series of all these :) peace :)

Monday, October 24, 2011

Detective Dee & the Mystery of the Phantom Flame 狄仁杰之通天帝国

Released Year: 2010
Directed by 徐克 Tsui Hark

Casted by:
劉德華 Andy Lau as 狄仁傑 Dee
劉嘉玲 Carina Lau as 武則天 Wu
李冰冰 Bing-Bing Li as 上官靜兒 Jing
梁家輝 Tony Leung as 沙陀 Sha
鄧超 Deng Chao as 裴東来 Fei
吴耀漢 Richard Wu & 泰迪羅賓 Teddy Robin as 汪驴 Lu
Wu has been ruling China and will become the first female emperor in the history. Officers build the huge statue of hers in front of the kingdom, but 2 officers were burned alive. To solve this case, Wu released Dee from prison to investigate on this with the help of Jing & Fei.

They investigate and discover the golden bug might be the reason of the self burning of the 2 officers. They came to Lu who change his face by needles. Lu told Dee that the golden bugs were destroy but not sure about it. When Dee went back, he discover that Jing has the ability to change her look just like how Lu did it, and Jing is the one who help Wu in the ceremony. Jing didn't kill Dee in the end but was killed in the bamboo jungle.

Dee went back to save Fei who is locked up, but when Fei was exposed to sunlight, the golden bug's poison inside him cause him to burn alive in front of Dee. Dee went into the statue and discover his long lost friend Sha who is behind all these. Sha use hot amber try to ruined the tall statue so that it will break down and crush the palace during Wu's ceremony. Sha fought with Dee and pour the golden bug water on him. The hot amber broke the statue and it gonna crush down. Dee chase behind Sha on a horse and the golden bug water spill on Sha and he was burned alive under the sunlight.

Dee managed to get to Wu on time and save her life. Wu promise to be the good emperor while Dee live his life with Lu on the underneath world forever.
L² Scored: 7/10

L² Comment:
This is definitely a good movie, too bad i missed it on the big screen. The storyline is good, the actors & actresses are good. Love Carina new change, this really won her a great reward in the HK film industry. Bravo!

The most haunted scene for me, will be the human burning scenes, i think its a bit scary but exciting~ weird huh? lol :)

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Burning Paradise 新火燒紅蓮寺

Released Year: 1994
Directed by 林岭东 Ringo Lam

Casted by:
季天笙 Willie Chi as 方世玉 Fong Sai Yuk
李若彤 Carman Lee as 豆豆 Tou-Tou
杨升 Sheng Yang as 洪熙官 Hung Hei-Kwun
黄锦江 Kam-Kong Wong as 神公 Elder Kung
程东 John Ching as 血滴子 Crimson
林泉 Lam Chuen as 翠河 Chui He
The ego Elder Kung in charge of the Hong Lian Temple, he took charge to run down the Shaolin temple who fought against the Qing Dynasty. Fong Sai Yuk together with Tou Tou were caught and have to fight against the same Shaolin follower Hei Kwun.

But actually Hei Kwun is working for Kung just to discover the way to run out of Hong Lian Temple as it is a place which is full of trap. Chui He the lady assassin who work for Kung has fell in love with Kwun, she even invited him to have sex with her but was rejected.

Yuk once again fight with Kung and was help by Kwun. Both of them managed to defeat Kung and ran out from the Hong Lian Temple and burn down the whole place.
L² Scored: 6.5/10

L² Comment:
It was quite a nice old movie to watch, the kungfu is special and the it was funny at some part of the movie but not too funny until you forget about the cruelness of the whole film. Sometimes i just feel like, Hong Kong old movies are much much better than these days~

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Snow Queen

Release Year: 2002
Directed by David Wu

Casted by:
Bridget Fonda as Snow Queen
Chelsea Hobbs as Gerda
Jeremy Guilbaut as Kai
Robert Wisden as Wolfgang
Wanda Cannon as Minna
Meghan Black as Robber Girl
Jennifer Clement as Spring Witch
Kira Clavell as Summer Princess
Suzy Joachim as Autumn Robber
Gerda' mother was killed by the Snow Queen when she was young, leaving her and the father, Wolfgang. When Gerda grew up, she fell in love with Kai who is a bellboy working in Wolfgang's hotel. The Snow Queen and caught Kai by kissing him on the lips to loss all his memories.

Gerda sacrifice herself for The Snow Queen by jumping down the river, she was then safe by Spring Witch. Spring Witch illusion Gerda's mind so that she will not leave her and stay with her forever, but Gerda left herself notes earlier on and manage to get away. In another hand, Kai and The Snow Queen been living together with the white polar bear.

Gerda met the hap magician who bring him to the summer princess, but summer princess wanted to marry her out and Gerda decided to ran away. She was then caught by the Robber girl and her mother Autumn Robber. Robber girl treated Gerda like her own toy to prevent Autumn from eating her. In the meanwhile, The Snow Queen trick Kai to finish a glass puzzles. Later on Gerda was trapped in the dungeon and she met a reindeer of Robber girl. With the help of reindeer, Gerda managed to escape.

Almost finish his glass puzzles, Kai frustrated for not finding the last piece of the puzzle and loss all his memories to The Snow Queen. Gerda came all the way to save Kai but Snow Queen stop her by freezing her to death. Snow Queen threatened to kill Gerda and tricked Kai to kiss her again. When Gerda about to die, she heard the Spring Witch, Summer Princess, Robber Girl, Hap magician and Autumn Robber wake her up including her own dead mother.

Gerda wake up, break the curse of the snow queen by telling her she is not a queen but just a winter and pinch her with Gerda's mother's necklace. The snow queen was defeated and was safe by the polar bear. The polar bear transform into a handsome prince and vanish together with the snow queen.

Gerda and Kai went back happily ever after.
L² Scored: 1.5/10

L² Comment:
Can i "pui" at this movie? Simply boring and stupid... i don't know whether the original fiction is as boring as this or wat, but i really feel sleepy as the movie goes on...

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Rats

Released Year: 2002
Directed by John Lafia

Casted by:
Mädchen Amick as Susan Costello
Vincent Spano as Jack Carver
Shawn Michael Howard as Ty
Daveigh Chase as Amy Costello
At Manhattan, rats appearing everywhere and after getting exposed to some chemicals products, they began to breed in larger amount than usual. These abnormal breed has cause the whole country being threatened by rats. Susan is the first who discover this problem after bitten by the rat and ask help from the expert Jack.

Jack and Ty try to help out with the problem and discover the rats problem is out of their control. The rats even attack the human in swimming pool. When the whole Manhattan citizen try to run away from the rats including Susan and her daughter Amy. In the end Jack came out with an idea to explode the rats with dynamites.

Using ab suction machine to suck all the rats back to the swimming pool, Ty was stuck in the wind tunnel. Susan help him to escape but she accidentally fell into the pool with rats but was save by Jack and Ty. In the end the rats were exploded and die on the spot.

L² Scored: 2.5/10

L² Comment:
Just like any other animal-eat-human-film, this is just lame and boring. The whole movie is not horror at all and yet not funny. I mean, some of the cheap production which try to make horror movie, end up making ppl laugh... but not this one. It just damn boring. But imagine if u fall into the pool of rats? Ewww.... yuck!!!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

The Blade 刀 (斷刀客)

Released Year: 1995
Directed by 徐克 Tsui Hark

Casted by:
赵文卓 Vincent Zhao as 定安 Ding
桑妮 Sanne as 文向靈 Ling
陈豪 Moses Chan as 鐵頭 Tou
熊欣欣 Yan-Yan Hung as 飞龙 Long
惠天赐 Austin Wai as 文刀師 Shi
周嘉玲 Valerie Chow as 妓女 Hooker
Ding & Tou work for Shi in a blade shop. Shi has a daughter Ling who is a slut. Ling falls for both Ding & Tou and always peep at them when they shower. Ling try to cause a fight between the two guys so that she can choose the winner as her husband.

Ding & Tou involve in a fight at the market which cause the gangster to came for revenge, but they won. Shi passed his chair to Ding and told him his real identity. Ding wanted to make revenge for his father who passed away after attacked by gangster, Long. Ding lost one of his hand when he get attack by Long. Tou & Ling went after but they loss Ding. They met a hooker and Tou safe the hooker for sex.

Ding almost gave up but he found a martial arts book and learn all the kungfu to defeat Long. Ding & Tou both left the place. Ling never forgot them and wait for them to come back every year.
L² Scored: 8/10

L² Comment:
This is really a good martial arts film by Tsui Hark. The kungfu is nice, and additional points are for all the meaty scene which is so yummy :) Moses chan even show his delicious ass to us when he's still a model before enterin TVB.